I consider myself a grief expert. This stems from my own personal experiences, along with my passion to better understand grief and learn ways to care for it. I am committed, so that I can be of support to clients as they navigate their own personal grief journey.
One of the biggest lessons is learning how to recognize grief when it shows up. This is not found in a “Google search”. Clues can be subtle, or hidden where you least expect.
The other day, I was tidying up and found my ‘Covid’ forgotten yoga bag. You see when Covid hit, like many of us, I had a significant change in my daily life. It felt like someone picked up my ‘plate of life’ and dumped it before my eyes. (can you relate?). One item being dropped was yoga. Pre-Covid, this bag left the house with me daily and so like most gym bags, that are lived out of, it began to accumulate the usual suspects; empty hygiene products, flattened snacks and stinky gear. It needed a clean out.
Much to my surprise, (grief sneaks up on us) I did not expect all those items to be coated in grief, or the puddle of tears that began the cleaning – the grieving process. So, right then and there, I chose to sit with my bag, with my memories and all the feelings connected to this relationship. I stayed put until the depth of my grief softened and I felt the strength to rise up, to clean out the clutter and put the bag in the wash in preparation of returning it back to my plate of life. This may sound put together, but I assure you how I cared for this connection with grief stems from years of learning how to rightly relate to it.
Historically, we have avoided grief or have worked to dismiss, restrict, or mask it. There have been countless mixed messages leaving us to feel confused, frightened and alone. Fear of not being able to handle the pain, or being perceived as overly emotional, has created an accumulation of grief baggage that is very heavy to carry around. Grief does not sit on the shelf waiting for your return. Grief doesn’t work that way.
We are all living with Covid grief in this very moment. As a collective whole, we have all been impacted by this pandemic. As a whole and as individuals, we will move forward with grief – either caring for it or carrying it. So ask yourself – Do I want to care for my grief or carry it?
Grief asks for our connection in the now, the present moment. To hold it with open hands and an open heart, to give it space to breathe and be acknowledged. In doing so we honour the gift of grief in our journey through life, celebrating the rawness of love. Please drop me a line, let me know some of the ways you care for grief.
If you have grief that is needing to be cared for, talk with someone, reach out and reach in. You are worth it!